Keep On Track

Three days without my meditation for depression and to be honest I thought I would be a mess and wanting to go back on something.

I’ve been taking medication for five years now, and yes at the time I started taking them there was definitely a reason.

Last year my meds were changed and at the time it did help but for the last six months I’ve struggled with wanting to change them again or come off them completely because I’ve been more anxious on them and so tired all the time, always wanting to sleep, finding it hard to get up in the morning and crying for no bloody reason. Not a good feeling.

I’ve had a few other health issues because of them as well but right now my head is telling me not to go back on anything, take it one day at a time and see how I go, use my steps to stay happy and to keep the black dog calm and tame. I know I’m going to have days were I may struggle but as long as I have more days happy in each month then that’s a good thing.

So far this last week I’ve been making sure I get up at the same time every morning and I believe it helps me. I’ve taken Sophie for a walk every day and exercised every day. I’ve stopped taking ALL my meditation including the pill. I’ve limited my time on social networks because I know this is one of my triggers. I’ve kept in touch with friends with positive thoughts and honest feelings. And stopped hiking. Yep I’ve stopped hiking just for now lol, I’ll definitely get back into it but I need a rest and it became a chore in a way, I felt like I had to do it to stay happy and when it wasn’t keeping me happy I was a mess and didn’t know how to handle that.

This week I’ll work on my healthy eating, no that doesn’t mean no chocolate 😳 I’ve tried that, once, and it wasn’t good lol. No I’m going to get my gut under control and fix that issue, I have to say I now feel my meditation wasn’t helping in that department because the last few days my gut has been pretty good.

I’m even going as far as keeping a diary of what I eat so I can look back at what is working and isn’t working for me. And I’ll definitely try and stay away from take away foods, limit it to once a month if I can. Get more vegetables into my diet and cut out the fruits and foods that don’t agree with my gut.

I’m also going to keep up the fitness I’ve started and stay positive that I will get my fitness back to where I want it and able to hike without pain. It will be a slow process because I’m in no hurry anymore and this will also help with my mental health.

I was going to join a gym but it’s not for me, I hate the thought of going there and thinking people are watching me and judging me, it’s an awful thought so instead I’ve downloaded an app to help me with my exercises at home and keeping me on track to slowly get stronger physically and mentally. And when I have the money I’ll look at getting a treadmill because I did love having that in my home to jump on at anytime and walk walk walk 😊 while watching a movie of course lol.

So this is a good day, I’m doing pretty a-okay and I’m positive that when I go back to work I’ll have things in place to keep me positive and happy.


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